Painful Love

And she said, don't ever let your guard down,

because he waits in the shadows for your heart to scream out,

stay on your toes and don't let him catch you weak,

that softness in your heart is exactly what he seeks.


keep your mind busy so he can never get in,

he knows your every weakness, he knows your every sin.


He loves you he swears, like he loves to destroy,

love means to him, what love means to a small boy.


It's not the chase he wants, it's your heart he craves,

he looks for you to ruin, just when he knows you can't be saved.


Part of you wants him because he's all the love you know,

but he will never have to fight for you, because you'll never let him go.

Your heart still wants the love that turned out such a mess,

it's sad but true, that painful love is love nonetheless.

What a year!

Last night while driving, my cousin and I began talking about what a crazy year it's been. It's amazing how much has happened in a mere 12 months! I graduated from high school, started college, moved out of my house, got a new job, made tons of new friends, lost a few as well, fell in love, fell back out, learned how to manage money (or better yet, how NOT to), and most important of all, I learned the literal meaning of, "Life's a dance." Here are a few significant things I've learned this year.



1. Never let people take advantage of you. This applies to everyone- even confrontation-phobic people like myself. The expression, "Give 'em an inch, they'll take a mile", is no joke. .



2. People say money talks. True, although all mine ever seems to say is, "Goodbye." Managing money is a VERY important skill that I have yet to master.



3. Not everyone has the same definition of "clean", so beware of roommates who claim that they are.




4. Don't forgive too easily. Be gracious, but not gullible.



5. There is always one place you can go- home. Your family will love you no matter what. And sometimes if you're lucky, you'll find family in people who aren't related to you- and that is truely beautiful.



7. If you're suffering just to be happy- you aren't really happy. True happiness requires little effort.



8. Let go, and Let God. As common as this is, it is so true. When things aren't right, accept that they are beyond your control and leave it to Him.




A lot has happened this year, some good, some bad. The best part of it all though, was growing up and learning SO much about myself. Now as I begin a new chapter of my life, I embrace the many harder lessons to come. You should too! Here's to a great 2011! :)

The Day I Realized You Weren't The One

I knew your family, I knew your friends, I knew your faults, I knew your plans, I thought I knew the future for us, I thought I knew who I could trust, One day it was I love you, the next it was goodbye, I didn't quite know what to do, All I knew was to cry, For the person I wanted forever, for a closeness that couldn't be severed, for the love I knew always, for the monster you became. It was but yesterday I found out what our "love" was all about, I saw you weren't mine to love, but someone else's who's yet to come. I saw a future without you in it, and to be quite honest, it scared me for a minute. for in the back of my mind I always knew, your love for me was always true. But I'm no longer fooled by those day dreams, I'm longer thinking of weddings with daisies, I'm packing up my life, just this last time, in attempts to get you forever off my mind. I won't let you back in, like I did a few months ago, I won't let you ruin the life that I'm about to know, for my destiny is set and you're nowhere to be found, and when you come back, I won't be around. Please don't mistake me for bitter, for all I am is done. And don't mistake our love for fake, for all it is, is gone.